You Are Saved
by insanitys.cowgirl
Summary: He had flown into the pit, hellfire searing his wings and painful impurities tainting his grace, and wondered all the while if this was really worth it. Laying eyes on Dean Winchester for the first time he knew that it was. *updates on Tuesdays*
1. You Are Saved

Castiel had seen everything creation had to offer, and yet nothing seemed as beautiful to him as this man, this righteous man. He had flown into the pit, hellfire searing his wings and painful impurities tainting his grace, and wondered all the while if this was really worth it. Laying eyes on Dean Winchester for the first time he knew that it was. Desptite the torture, despite the pain, despite forty years of _hell_, Dean Winchester's soul was shining bright, still pure. While the other souls who had given in had let go of who they were before, had become nothing more than animalistic killers, because the pain of knowing what they were doing was too much to bear, Dean had chosen instead to keep his humanity.

Castiel was in awe. The human was suffering more than most. By choice Becuase he would not let go of the guilt. There were, naturally, taints and impurities singed into his soul, but unlike the others he was still human. After forty years.

The angel came to a landing next to the righteous man, shouldering aside the demons around them with his grace. Dean simply stared at him, a constant stream of tears running down his face. Dean looked at Castiel like he was awaiting some sort of torment. Knowing that it was safe to do so, knowing that Dean would not remember, Castiel unfurled his wings behind him, effectively driving back and blinding every demon for miles.

The weapons fell from Dean's hands. Instead of soothing him, as Castiel had hoped to do, it seemed the gesture had struck even more fear into the human's heart. Dean began to shake. Castiel reached for Dean and the hunter flinched away as if he had already been struck.

"My name is Castiel." The angel said, unsure how else to ease the hunters fear. "I am an angel of the Lord."

"Long way from home." Dean rasped, his throat clearly raw from screaming.

"I am here for you, Dean Winchester." Castiel said, and Dean flinched again. "Dean Winchester, be at peace for you are saved."

With that, Castiel placed his hand on Dean's shoulder gripping him tight and Dean threw his head back, screaming as Castiel washed away the taint left by many months in Hell. Dean fell forward when it was over, weak and panting. Castiel cought him, allowing the human to sag against the angel, unable to hold himself up any more.

"Rest." The angel urged. Dean's eyes slid shut.

Castiel picked the righteous man up, tucking the man safely into his arms before spreading his wings and taking off. He flew them back to the surface, to Earth. And once they were safely there he set about filling the gaps in Dean's soul, readying him to shoulder his new burdon. As he did so, Castiel enjoyed the feeling of this man in his arms, this soul in his hands. Here, in the sunlight, Dean's beauty was even more bewitching. Castiel could feel himself falling already. He could tell here and now that whatever Dean asked he would do, and do it willingly. He wondered what this feeling, so strong after so many years of feeling nothing, was called.

Angels were not supposed to feel anything, or so they were told. Much to his surprise, Castiel found that he had been told wrong. He felt sympathy, compassion and other things for the human in his arms, and it made him hold the human that much tighter, that much closer to him.

When it was time for Castiel to place Dean back in his body, Castiel was tempted to pull Dean's body from it's coffin, instead of allowing him to go through the struggle of digging himself out. But his orders were to force Dean to do just that, a first test of sorts. So, his grace heavy with regret, Castiel lowered Dean's soul into his body.

Then he stepped back, invisible, and waited. He heard Dean cough to life below the dirt.

"Help!" Came a horase cry. "HELP!" Castiel twitched forward, so close, so very close to reaching out and providing that help. But he could not, so he watched and waited until Dean broke the surface. As the human gasped for breath, Castiel wanted to offer comfort, to rub his back until the humans lungs were full again and his breathing steady. But again he could not. So he watched quietly as Dean stood, surveyed the area around him, and took in the damage caused by their landing there. Then, for one brief moment, Dean looked right at Castiel, despite not being able to see the angel standing there.

Castiel felt frozen in place. If he had thought Dean beautiful before, he was twice as stunning now. His green eyes lively and bright, and Castiel could tell, this man was going to bring trouble.

**Want more? I am considering making this a series, anybody interested? PS-I don't own Supernatural.**


	2. He'd Sure Try

**Ask and ye shall receive. All these will be based off certain episodes of Supernatural, if you have any particular episodes you'd like to request I include, let me know! **

**Ssn. .1:**

Dean woke. He honestly hadn't expected to wake up, but he did. In his own body. His throat was raw, and he was in a freaking pine box who knew how many feet under the earth, but he was awake. He dug his way to the surface, gasping in the fresh air and staring at the line of trees leveled by...something. Probably whatever had drug his ass outta hell. And Dean was not looking forward to meeting whatever did that. Because what ever powerful son of a bitch did that, there had to be a reason. Dean doubted he'd like it.

Dean turned and paused for a moment, he could have sworn he saw something standing there, someone maybe. He ignored it and started walking. Castiel followed. Because although he could not yet reveal himself to Dean, he had nothing else to do. He would watch over the righteous man.

As more and more doubts about why he had been saved filled Dean's mind, especially when he found the handprint burned on his shoulder, Castiel desired nothing more than to reassure him that the intent behind his rescue was pure. Eventually, while Dean was in a gas station gathering necessary items that desire spilled over and some of Castiel's powers escaped him. The tv turned on. And when Dean reached out to turn it off, the radio came on. Then both at the same time. Dean was starting to look really freaked out, so Castiel figured it was time to introduce himself.

While the human could not see his true form safely, Castiel hoped that because of their connection, Dean could hear his voice. So he spoke to Dean. The windows shattered and Dean fell to his knees, getting as far from the windows as he could and clutching at his ears. Castiel decided it was time to be quiet.

He followed Dean some more. Watched him reunite with his family. First Bobby. Then Sam. When Sam wrapped himself around his older brother, Castiel almost shouted. Because this was the boy with the demon blood, Lucifer's vessel. Castiel wanted him nowhere near Dean. But it was easy to see that the boys needed each other, so he waved his growing discomfort aside.

After the insident with the psychic, Castiel tried to speak to Dean again. To apologize and once again assure the hunter there was nothing to fear. More windows shattered and Dean once again fell to the ground in pain. Castiel thought that maybe it was time to take a vessel.

Not long after meeting Jimmy, Castiel felt another summons. This time it was just Bobby and Dean, heavily armed and alone in an old barn. Cas steeled himself, because he knew this was not going to be a particularily easy talk.

The lights burst above the two hunters heads, barn door swinging open. Castiel approached slowly, still not completely used to the feel of his vessel around him. He was just glad he didn't trip. He saw the fear in Dean's eyes, but didn't understand it. Castiel had saved him. He shouldn't be afraid.

So he kept walking, even as Dean and the Bobby raised their guns and began firing. He hoped he could speak to Dean and reassure him that there was nothing to fear. But it seemed that the closer he got to Dean the more afraid the hunter became.

"Who are you?" Dean asked.

"I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition." Castiel said, with no small amount of pride.

Wrong answer, apparently, because Dean took the knife, the one meant for demons and buried it in Castiel's shoulder.

Castiel was not a demon. So the knife didn't hurt him. Dean's absolute mistrust did. He pulled the knife from his shoulder, reminding himself to be patient. Dean couldn't remember him. But when Bobby tried to creep up behind him with a crowbar, that was it. He was careful, he made sure not to hurt the older hunter, because who knew what Dean would do if he did. He just put the man to sleep so he could talk to Dean. It still made Dean angry though. He knelt next to Bobby, fingers seeking his pulse and glared at Castiel.

"You friend is alive." Castiel tried to assure him, paging through the book on the table.

"Who are you?" Dean asked again.

"Castiel."

"Yeah," The words sounded bitter in Dean's mouth. "I figured that much, I mean what are you?"

"I am an angel of the Lord."

"Get the hell outta here." Dean said, standing. "There's no such thing." Dean sounded so sure.

"This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith." Castiel tried to keep a lid on his temper (another new experience. In heaven Castiel had not had a temper, but Dean seemed to be able to get to him in a way that would have once seemed impossible. He was growing angry for the first time. It was not pleasant.) With a bright flash of light, Castiel shadowed his wings against the wall. Dean's eyes widened as the realization of what Castiel really was hit him. Fear and respect, gone as quickly as they came, replaced with more bitterness and mistrust.

"Some angel you are." Dean growled. "You burned out that poor woman's eyes."

Castiel hung his head. He was ashamed, yet another new emotion Dean brought out in him, for his first impression to have been so negative. Castiel wondered how humans managed having so many emotions. It was tiring. He explained what had happened to Dean, or tried to anyway. Dean just kept getting more and more wary of the angel, especially after Castiel told him about his vessel. Apparently taking over peoples bodies wasn't something Dean agreed with.

"And why would an angel, rescue me from hell?"

"Good things _do_ happen, Dean." Castiel said.

"Not in my experience."

"What's the matter?" Castiel asked, realizing the answer almost as soon as he posed the question. "You don't think you deserve to be saved." Dean's lip quivered at the words, at how true they were, and Castiel felt a dizzying amount of sadness for the hunter. Dean was so broken, and Castiel wasn't sure he could fix him. But he'd sure try.


	3. Wrong Things Said and Done

**S4Ep7 It's The Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester**

"Sam Winchester, the boy with the demon blood." Castiel greeted the younger Winchester. When Sam blanched and Dean went stiff and glared Castiel knew he'd said the wrong thing. And when Castiel tells them that they are about to destroy the town, the dark look only darkened. And now they were staring at him as if he were one of the monsters they hunted. Wonderful.

Dean doesn't know, can't know until all is said and done that Castiel has no intention of destroying this town. He couldn't stand the way Dean was looking at him, the way that look made him feel. This wasn't the impression the angel had hoped to make. Dean was beginning to see Castiel as dangerous and untrustworthy, and the thought of that made Castiel ache inside.

After the fact, the town still stood but the seal had been broken. Castiel was glad for the choices Dean had made. And the angel made sure he told the hunter exactly that. Sitting on a park bench watching Dean as he watched the children at play, Castiel explained their true orders, and his true intent. Tried to make Dean understand. Tried to make him _believe_.

"I have doubts. I don't know what is right or wrong, whether you passed or failed here, but in the coming months you will have many more choices to make. I do not envy the weight that's on your shoulders, Dean." Castiel finishes.

The angel meant to leave then, he did leave, but there were things bothering him. _I dragged you out of Hell, I can throw you back in._ This time he sits on the same bench as Dean. Dean jumps at his sudden rearrival.

"Dean," Castiel says, "I know I have done things-said things-that you did not understand or approve of in the time we have known each other. Dean, I am sorry."

"For what, Cas?" Dean looks truly surprised at the apology.

"For what I said about Sam." Castiel answered. "It may be true but he is still your brother. I understand that bond. I should have been kinder. And...for what I said to you, about throwing you back into hell. I didn't mean it, you know. You made me angry. That is something still very new to me, anger. I don't know how to handle it."

" 's alright, man, we all say things we don't mean when someone pisses us off." Dean smiles a little and Castiel feels an almost physical weight lifting from him.

"Still, it's been bothering me, what I said. I would never do such a thing." Castiel rests his hand against Dean's shoulder, the one his hand print is on and silently prays for Dean to believe him.

"Like I said, 's alright. I've said a lot of crappy things I didn't mean." Dean's smile stretches out more and Castiel knows it's been forgotten already. He can tell Dean believes him, for the most part anyway, and that's good enough for now.


	4. Ghost of A Smile

**Skipping a few episodes here. I'm really just going by what episodes have inspired me so it could end up being pretty sporadic.**

**S4Ep16 On The Head of A Pin**

Castiel hated to ask this of Dean, hated to ask _anything_ of Dean right now, really. Dean was hurting, and angry, and his words had a certain bite to them. And Uriel was not helping. Castiel really wished the other angel would choose his words more carefully. And to tell the truth, Castiel was also still bitter about Dean's affair with his sister, which was unfair to Dean, Castiel knew, but he couldn't seem to put a lid on it.

Jealosy, it seemed, was a new and frightening beast. But all that anger and bitterness was outshone by sympathy and regret when Dean realized what it is the angels were asking of him. And Castiel had never felt more helpless than when Dean had turned to him and asked not to have to do this, and there was nothing Castiel could do to stop it. This was non-optional.

Castiel did his best to do as his superiors had ordered, to remember to whom his loyalties lay. They had been right to accuse him of becoming too close to his charge, and while he tried his best to behave as they wished, it seemed "feelings" were not like a tap one could turn on and off at will.

Dean didn't want to torture, but he did when they gave him no choice. It was clear Dean had learned well, and equally clear that he hated himself for it. And Alastair's words cut just as much as Dean's knife. Castiel wanted to pull Dean out of there. Then the Devil's Trap broke and all hell broke loose.

Castiel sat with Dean in the hospital, waiting for him to wake up. He wasn't supposed to. He wasn't supposed to doubt either, but he couldn't get his sisters words out of his head. Dean began to stir then, and Castiel decided to save his doubts and dark thoughts for later.

"Are you alright?" Castiel asked.

"No thanks to you." Dean shot back. Castiel's heart clinched. There was no telling Dean how guilty he was over the hunter's injuries. So instead Castiel told Dean about Uriel, and then Dean asked the one question Castiel was not looking forward to.

"Is it true? Did I break the first seal? Did I start all this?" Castiel wanted to assure Dean, that no, he didn't. He was guilty of nothing, but figured honesty was the best policy.

"Yes. When we found out about Lilith's plan for you, we laid siege to hell. We fought our way to get to you, before you-"

"Jump-started the apocalypse?" Dean interjected, and Cas looked heavenward for support.

"But it was too late."

"Why didn't you just leave me there?" Dean asked. _I could never_, Castiel thought.

Instead he said, "It is not blame that falls on you, Dean. It's fate."

"You have to stop it."

"_Lucifer_?" Dean breathed.

"_The apocalypse? What does that mean?_" Castiel could hear tears behind Dean's voice.

"Our fate rests with you." The angel said.

"Then you guys are screwed. I can't do it, Cas. It's too big.

Alastair was right, I'm not all here.. I'm not.. I'm not strong enough. Well I guess I'm not the man neither of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else.. it's not me." Tears spilled over Dean's eyelids as he let them fall shut, exhaustion and hopelessness clear on his face.

"Dean." Castiel reached out and took hold of Dean's hand. Perhaps a bit too rough, if Dean's slight jerk in the opposite direction said anything about it, but physical contact was something Castiel had yet to get the hang of. He curled his fingers around Dean, careful to keep his strength reined in, Dean was hurting enough.

"I know it's hard, and I know how much is expected of you, but no one ever said you had to do this alone. I will assist you." Castiel said, "And your brother, Sam will stand with you, I'm sure. You don't have to do this by yourself."

Deans lips twitched upwards in a ghost of a smile and Castiel echoed the expression. The angel stayed until Dean had faded off to sleep, his hand curled tight around the hunter's. When it was time to leave Castiel brushed his lips over Dean's forehead and let his Grace whisper over the human's skin, knitting it back together again and banishing the physical pain. Castiel brushed his hand through Dean's cropped hair, ensuring a peaceful nights rest, and flew off to find his sister.


	5. A Choice To Make

**Multiple episodes today, because I couldn't think of anything else! Happy Tuesday.**

**S4Ep20 The Rapture S4 Ep21 Lucifer Rising**

"I serve heaven, I don't serve man, and I certainly don't serve you." Castiel said, forcing a cold aloof tone into his voice. He turned and walked away before he could see the hurt expression on Dean's face. He knew Dean wasn't asking for servitude, he was only asking for help, from someone he considered a friend.

The next time Castiel saw Dean, he'd been sent by his superiors to help manipulate Dean into their service. Dean's voice was raw from screaming, and he seemed bitter and angry. Both of which only served to make Castiel feel even more guilty for what he was doing. There had been no order to return immediately, he could stay for a while if he wanted, but after spinning tales for Dean like he'd been told, being around the hunter would only be painful. So he left.

Cas knew that soon he'd have to make his choice, Dean or his brothers and sisters. He didn't understand why he had to choose. He didn't want to. He loved his brothers and sisters, they were his family. But Dean. If there was anyone Castiel was willing to sacrifice everything for, Dean was it.

And when Sam left and Dean lay there praying desperately for Cas, it was so hard to tune him out. Doing so came with an almost physical hurt. Castiel remained invisible in a corner of the room. It hurt to be so close and not speak to Dean, but it seemed impossible to leave him.

Castiel appeared to Dean hesitantly the next time, he knew Dean was probably irritated with him. He had found out what was expected of him, and he was angry. He pleaded again with Castiel for his help, even after being denyed before. Dean's desperation tugged at Castiel's grace.

"If there was anything worth dyin' for, this is it." Dean said, and Castiel knew it was time to make his choice.

"You spineless, soulless son of a bitch. What do you care about dyin', you're already dead." Dean accused, when Castiel could not come up with an answer immediately. "We're done."

"Dean." Castiel pleaded. _Please, just another moment, this is a hard choice to make. _

"We're done."

Castiel flew off after that, taking a moment to sort through his thoughts. The emptiness being turned away by Dean brought on made Castiel realize there was never any other choice. It had always been Dean.

Dean was startled by Castiel's return, and when the angel pinned him to the wall, reaching for the knife he felt Dean's heart race in his chest. Castiel silently pleaded with Dean to understand, to be silent and trust him, just for now. Dean's eyes searched his, and then the hunter nodded a soundless understanding. Castiel removed his hand from Dean's mouth.

Castiel almost pressed the knife to his skin before pausing for a moment. This might be his last chance. He lowered the knife and crushed his lips against Dean's. Dean was to shocked to respond, and Castiel's absolute inexperience made the kiss awkward in imperfect. But it was still electric, like sticking a fork in a light socket but thousands of times better.

Castiel pulled back, and Dean was still, shocked into silence. Castiel painted sigils on the wall, while Dean searched for something to say.

"Castiel, what do you think you're doing." Zachariah snarled, appearing across the room from them. Castiel slammed his hand against the hastily finished sigil and Zachariah was banished in a bright flash of light.

"He won't be gone long." Castiel told Dean. The hunter was still gaping at Cas, mouth moving as if he had something he wanted to say but wasn't sure how to say it. Castiel smiled, and brought their lips together just one more time. This time Dean recovered enough of himself to return the kiss, arms coming up around Castiel's waist and drawing him close. This time it was perfect, at least in Castiel's opinion, and he let himself go pliant in Dean's arms for a moment, parting his lips under Dean's.

When the broke the kiss so Dean could breath they were at the prophet's house.

"Go stop Sam. I'll hold the angels off here." Castiel said. Dean opened his mouth, probably to protest, but a brush of Castiel's lips over Dean's forhead and Dean was gone.


	6. No Update This Week

Sorry, guys. We're leaving over the fourth of July weekend, and there's a lot to do beforehand, so I won't be updating this week. Have a good 4th, to all the Americans, and I'll see you next Tuesday!


	7. Counting Heartbeats

**Hey, thanks for the holiday wishes. We had a good trip, saw some awesome fireworks and my best friend and I fought over who took up more space in the bed we had to share. It was great! Hope you all had a good Fourth as well.**

**Season 5 Episode 1: Sympathy For The Devil:**

Zachariah was beyond cruel, and creative too, Dean had to give that to the dick, even as he and Sam were on the floor gasping in pain. He really didn't know what to do here, he and Sam were probably gonna die from this, and if not Dean then definitely Sam. But he couldn't say yes. Was there a third option?

And just as he was wondering this, hopelessly believing there wasn't any other option, Castiel was there. In a flash of lightning the Angel of Thursday appeared. Dean was shocked, he'd thought his angel dead. Castiel was all wrath as he killed his brothers, turning to face Zachariah with a grim expression, though his eyes softened with concern and affection when they landed briefly on Dean.

"How are you..." Zachariah began, as stunned as the two humans.

"Alive." Castiel finished, "That's a good question. How were these two on that airplane? Another good question, 'cause the angels didn't do it. I think we both know the answer, don't we?"

"No. That's not possible."

"It scares you, well it should. Now put these boys back together and go. I won't ask twice." Castiel said. Zachariah paused momentarily, before complying, too stunned by Castiel's reappearance to do more.

"You two need to be more careful." Castiel warned the boys, moving closer to be sure Zachariah had put them back as they were.

"Yeah, startin' to get that. Your frat brothers are bigger dicks 'n I thought." Dean growled.

"I don't mean the angels. Lucifer is circling his vessel. Once he takes it those hex bags won't be enough to protect you." Castiel stepped forward, pressing a hand to both Dean's and Sam's abdomen, etching protection sigils into their ribs.

"What the hell was that." Dean coughed out. Castiel felt bad for any pain he had caused, and was quick to explain.

"They're enochian symbol. They'll hide you from every angel in creation. Including Lucifer."

"What, you just brand us with it." Dean sounded incredulous.

"No, I carved it into your ribs."

"Hey, Cas, were you really dead?" Sam asked.

"Yes."

Dean's eyes went misty with thinly veiled emotion, "Then how are you back?"

Castiel didn't answer. He wanted to have this conversation later. Alone. So he flew off, leaving Dean behind, confused and slightly hurt.

Dean drug him and Sam back to the hotel and watched as his brother dropped off to sleep. It wasn't a peaceful sleep, but it was more than Dean could manage. So Castiel was alive. That was good at least. But why had he left so suddenly, and why was he acting as if what had happened between them hadn't. It stung.

"Dean." The hunter in question jumped at Castiel's sudden arrival. He was seated at the foot of Dean's bed, looking for all the world as if he belonged there.

"What the hell happened, Cas?" Dean asked.

"I don't understand."

"Zachariah told us you were dead."

"I was." The angel stated.

"Ok, and then...?" Dean prompted.

"I wasn't."

"Thanks. That answers everything." Dean said, voice dripping sarcasm.

"I don't know for sure. I believe my father brought me back. Does it matter that much why I am here, Dean?"

"Guess not." Dean said, sliding a bit closer to his angel. "You really alright, Cas?"

"Yes, Dean." Castiel answered. Unsure of himself he reached out for the hunter, tugging the hunter into his arms. Dean went willingly, curling his own arms tight around Castiel and resting his chin on the angel's shoulder.

"Had me worried for a minute there." Dean tried to pass it off as a joke, but Castiel knew better. Dean had been more than worried, but he wasn't going to call the hunter out on it. Instead he turned his head until his lips brushed against Dean's.

"Is this OK?" Castiel asked, suddenly nervous.

"Don't have to ask permission, Cas." Dean assured, his voice softer than Castiel had ever heard it. Dean closed the rest of the distance between them sealing their lips together, licking into the angel's mouth. One kiss led to two and after that Castiel lost count. The broke apart only to gasp for air, mouthing at the skin on each other's necks as they did so.

This was nicer than anything heaven had ever had to offer Castiel. Whatever remorse he felt for turning his back on his brothers, killing two of them, was lost in Dean's kiss. The angel gasped as Dean took his lower lip between his teeth, biting gently, and let out a soft groan as the hunter pressed him back into the bed. The kisses slowed then, taking the time they hadn't had before to explore and learn each other. Castiel was dizzy with it, clutching at Dean where he lay over the angel, hands sliding under Castiel's shirt, rubbing at the line of his hip but going no further. Castiel laid his hand over the burn mark he'd left behind, digging his fingers in softly.

Dean pulled away eventually, panting against Castiel's check and nosing at the line of his throat.

"Will you stay? Just for tonight?" Dean asked. For one brief moment Castiel thought Dean was asking for sex. As much as he cared for Dean, Castiel was not ready for that. But a look into Dean's mind proved him wrong. Dean was only asking for Castiel's company as he slept. That Castiel was happy to provide.

"Of course Dean." He said. Dean threw his shirt across the room to make himself more comfortable and Castiel removed his overcoat and shoes as well. They laid facing each other, exchanging slow, lazy kisses until Dean began to drift off. As he lost the fight with sleep, Castiel drew Dean closer, tucking Dean's head into his throat. Dean snuffled quietly, curling closer and clutching at the back of Castiel's shirt as he drifted off.

Castiel lay there all night counting Dean's heartbeats as the human slept safe in his arms.


	8. I Think This Is The End

At least for now. I am way too busy right now to be updating every week. So, that last chapter was a good place to leave off I believe, I may write a sequel or continue this later on, but for now I'm just going to stick to writing whenever I can. Sorry to end this so abruptly, thanks for reading, and I hope you liked it.


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